8:01 a.m. - 2004-10-21
Normal
I am afraid.
I feel like I live in a world full of normal people.
They frighten me.
I dream of normalcy
And it wakes me in the middle of the night.
Mouth open in a silent scream.
At stop lights
I quick
Turn off your music.
Roll up the windows.
Cower down in the seat.
Slinking.
Afraid they will see me and recognize me for what I am not.
At work I smile.
I smile and pretend.
Good morning! I chirp!!!
Howwasyoureveningwhatareyoumakingfordinnertonight?Doyouloveyourfamily?Dontyouwanttojustdiealready?
With your sanctimonius religion.
With your pearly whites.
I hate everything about you.
I want to be you.
I am afraid of you.
I am afraid of myself.
I long for a cool, dark place to hide.
A womb in which to be reborn.
A place to feel a mother's love.
A place to start again.
