10:57 a.m. - 2004-10-19
I dream of you.
With your piercing blue eyes.
Skin like silk stretched over steel.
Hot like a fever under my fingertips.
I dream of you so intensely I wake in the night
I fear for my sanity when the sun is shining. I can barely function without the words spilling over my lips. Unbidden. Pornographic turret's syndrome.
I don't know if I love you.
I just know that I can't stop thinking about you. I can't stop day dreaming about violent, sweaty, sex. Steaming up the bathroom mirror.
When does a crush turn into obsession? When does the mind stop wondering, "Hey, What ever happended to that guy" I have sporadic bouts of longing at which time I can't shut off my mind. I DREAM about this guy from high school. High school for christsakes! I'm 30 fucking years old. Married to the best man in the world (no shit there people, Bill totally rocks!) I have a beautiful daughter, a great house. But still, every once in a while, I have graphic, intensely sexual dreams about a boy I crushed on when I was 17 years old.
I just wonder why.
previous - next