10:07 a.m. - 2004-01-13
I'm feeling a little stressed lately. I am fixin to turn 30. thirty. the big three oh. That's like, not in my twenties anymore. Yeah yeah yeah, everyone has been superficially compassionate with all that trite bullshit. "Thirty is just a number." or how about "That's not OLD!" Well maybe not to you bitch! But I'm personally having a hard time with it. Or how about "You're only as old as you feel" Well how 'bout you suck my dick and tell me how old I feel??
So I take refuge in profanity.
To be a little whiney bitch, I'm not where I want to be to turn 30. I'm not ready yet. There's stuff I need to accomplish before leaving my twenties. I haven't finished college. (actually I dropped midterm my first semester 11 years ago, but who's counting?) I still work at this crappy little job selling insurance for a living. I haven't travelled extensively, or written a book, or joined a rock band. I've never even sung karaoke!!! aaaahhhh!
But on the bright side, I have the BEST husband in the world. and a really smart, beautiful little girl. (yea, all this language came out of the mouth of somebody's MOTHER) Is it wrong to say that family just isn't enough? Is it really so bad that I want something for myself only? and I have three days left to find it.