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3:02 p.m. - 2007-04-27
We have new pets!

Home crap: Well, the guttering was installed, but the contractor dropped a large piece on my patio umbrella and ripped it. So, it was kind of bittersweet. The windows and doors are looking around May 14th before those are installed. Personally, I can't get too stoked until everything is finished. No appliances yet. Kitchen sink and faucet are still in the boxes. Countertop guy hasn't even CALLED.

Kid: Chloe scored her first soccer goal last weekend. It SOO freaking rocked. I screamed like a drunken banshee (or a red-headed soccer mom) and she was on CLOUD FORTY-NINE! WAAY, too high for just cloud nine. She normally plays defender only, so the opportunity to score is rarely provided, but for some reason, coach wanted her to branch out and try a new position. And it was good. Really, really good.

Negative thing about the kid: Over spring break the kid's grandma bought her a cute, fuzzy little pink hat. It's kind of a cross between little girl chic and Hollywood pimp. Unfortunately, two days after said pimp hat purchase, the kid came down with head lice. I'm warning you! Stop right now or you'll itch for a week. She hadn't been to school, daycare, or anywhere other than the park and the local Kroger, so I'm totally blaming the damn hat! Well, this wasn't our first rodeo, so to speak, so I sent the spouse to the store for de-lousing crap, and I started stripping beds and scrubbing heads and vacuuming floors and spraying furniture and combing hair and picking nits (I TOTALLY felt like a Mama monkey oowh wooh owh oh!) And after three fucking hours of misery, everyone and everything in the house smelled faintly of antiseptic, but the OCD gods were appeased. I warned you, quit scratching already! Two days later the kid was buggy again. Repeat process all over. One week later, buggy again. Repeat! Repeat! Repeat! Scream a fucking bunch! Let the kid overhear me cursing the little bastids and threatening to charge them rent if they came back into my baby's long, shiny, CLEAN, sable hair. By the fifth treatment, I had started calling my daughter Buggy and threatening to buy a min-circus to make a little extra cash. (see the mini-tight rope walker take death defying leaps from one head to another!) It's obvious these critters have a deep, ever-freaking-lasting Love for my child, because they won't leave! So far we've been louse-free for two days. I think I'm going into chemical withdrawals because I haven't smelled Rid, sweet, Rid in two days. (knocks wood hard enough to bleed!!!)

Husband front: I think we grunted at each other while digging furiously through each other's scalp to check for bugs. I finally relented and had de-stress sex one morning after he took the kid to school. He might've smiled at me in passing over the eleventy-kajillionth load of laundry. And I THINK he winked at me while bagging up stuffed animals for de-buggery treatment. In other words, we're cool. We're in love and all that sappy shit. I mean, how many men can look at you covered in lice shampoo and still try to grope a quick feel?

Cats: I think Spookster and Daph are finally getting along. The new kitty hasn't whooped any Daphne ass in about 12 hours or so, and I'm making them share a food dish. Yes, I suck at being a cat mom.

Me: well, my life is pretty much the sum of the above. And I reluctantly admit, I love it, bugs and all.

Happy Friday! Now quit scratching before you bleed!!



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