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2:48 p.m. - 2007-03-15
How does one go about correcting 33 years of bad posture? Inquiring minds needs to know. More specifically, I look like Mr. Burns (of the Simpsons) when I cop a squat. Seriously. At this rate, I'll have about 7 more good years before I start ringing the bell tower. The only thing I can think of (besides mentally chastising myself every time I pass a reflective surface) is to take a bunch of duct tape and attach a broom handle to my back. That should be appropriately Pavlovian, huh? Every time I slouch, eleventy kajillion layers will be removed from my soft, white underbelly. Yeah, I'm so thinking NOT!!!!

Suggestions? Advice? Please??

Last Friday at the races was fun. I came home with more money than I left with, ate a superb dinner of filet mignon covered in big chunks of crab meat, shrimps, and some kind of sauce. It was horshradishy and good. Honestly, by the time dinner rolled around I was blind drunk and I'm pretty sure I had told my boss and coworkers I loved them atleast five times. Per hour.

On the bright side, I now know how to get that raise I've been wanting so badly. ;-)

(sidenote: I did NOT get a fucking raise already. My W-2's have been within $100 of each other for the past three years!)

I spent my 'horse dollars' -as the kid calls them- on a new red shag rug and stylishly fabulous wood and stainless lamps. They have these trendy little barrel lampshades that sorta look corrugated. I heart them! Totally! As the spouse said, the new couch is settling in nicely. We even bought it a couple hundred dollars worth of new friends to make it feel more at home.

He so caters to my every decorating whim. I heart him too! Totally!

Did I mention that I threw my driver's license in the garbage while at the races? I shoved it in a pack of cigarettes so I wouldn't lose it. Then I started chainsmoking after my 7th drink of the day. I finished what I had in my pack and threw it all IN THE MOFUCKIN GARBAGE! So, I spent my lunch hour at the revenue office. sucks!

I gotta run to the bank and feed my crickets and spiders.

Happy Thorsday.



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