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1:56 p.m. - 2007-02-06
My own private hell...
I have located one of the missing levels of Dante's hell. And it is called.... Jury Duty.

Yesterday, after an excruciating drive into the 'big city', and a maze of one way streets that just fucking piss me off (why CAN'T I just turn left already?!?!) and a parking garage that smells like urine, I made it to the courtroom with 10 minutes to spare. I found out this was a civil case, post-insurance judgement. Punitive damages and I'm thinking SCORE! I'm an insurance girl. Have been for 11 years. There's no WAY IN HELL THEY'LL WANT ME ON THE JURY PANEL.

Obviously, I was mistaken.

(make a note here: I don't say that very often)

Anywhoo... I won't bore you with the monotinous, painful details of my 11 HOURS in the courthouse (no exaggeration!) But let's just say that if those mother fuckers call me again, I'm faking sick.

Sidenotes: I've learned a few things about court.

1. Jurors in general are picked from the dregs of society. I came to this conclusion when I spent 11 HOURS surrounded by a bunch of uneducated mouth breathers who don't understand the concept of being liable or negligent. (can you guess how long deliberations took??)

2. Lawyers are fucking boring ass moronic mother fuckers who work under the assumption that all jurors are dregs of society. We saw through your obvious sympathy ploys, Mr. Lexii owning Comb-over man. Just because we're dregs don't meen whar stoopid.

3. Somes judges are HOT! Fucking HOT! Let's leave it at that.

4. One cigarette in 11 hours tends to make me a little judgemental and irritable.

5. I can hold my bladder by repeatedly crossing and uncrossing my legs for at least 2 hours.

6. There was a blind cashier at the courthouse watering hole. No shit dude! I had to tell him what I have, then what size bill I was handing him for my change. (uuhh... that was a twenty, not a five!) I didn't. But I could've.

7. Gas to the big city $5.00
All day parking $8.00
Cold, stale sandwich $5.00
Bottle of water $1.50
Diet Dr. Pepper $2.00
Total earned for a day of
jury duty $20.00

Whoo hoo! I lost a dolla fifty doing my civic duty.




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