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10:26 a.m. - 2006-04-28
I think I can I think I can....
The stress from yesterday almost killed me. Let me tell you all about it, puh-leeze!

Yesterday morning I awake all bright eyed and chipper. Bouncing out of bed it NOT my natural state. Usually, after beating the snooze button for 20 mintues, I roll off the side and stumble to the coffee pot. I don't understand what caused the obvious brain abnormalities, but there I was, 10 minutes early, and in a good mood. It was then that I did something stupid.

I decided to quit smoking. Right. Then. Starting. Now. No planning, hashing or re-hashing. I just basically said WTF and went for it. On the way to work I cheerfully headed to the local drug store, thinking to purchase some nicotine gum. "I only smoke about 8 cigarettes a day" I thought to myself, "It should be a breeze to quit! Why haven't I done this before?!"


I'll tell you fucking why. Because by 5:30 yesterday evening, my pupils were dialated, my heartbeat sluggish, and my brain had quit working at around 9am. I was bitchy, dizzy, depressed, and my daughter had just laughed at me for slamming my fingers while trying to put the top back up on my covertible.

Earlier in the day, while googling "stop smoking now! tips of the day" I came across an article that advised smoking actually sends signals to your brain, telling your body not to be fat. So... I started worrying about gaining weight. The countdown to the Mexico vacation has begun and I do NOT want to be the tubby white American on the beach. Not me, No Way!


By 6:00 last night I was sitting contentedly on my patio, calmly sending smoke signals to my hypothalamus. Advising it not to get fat.

I'm going to try the 'taper down' method vs. cold turkey.

I mean, how hard can it be? Really?

Happy weekend.
Go smoke something.



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