1:36 p.m. - 2005-12-08
Happy Birthday Baby Girl!
This time, eight years ago, I was laying in a hospital bed at Conway Regional, screaming and crying and begging for more drugs. Having been in labor for more than 13 hours, little did I know that I still had about 20 more hours to go before I could think rationally again, but about 2 more years to go before I would ever get an entire night's sleep.
I hated being pregnant. I hated being hungry and sleepy and bitchy all of the time. I hated the way my self control slipped and my waistband expanded. I hated not being able to drink a beer on a hot summer's afternoon. I hated not being able to paint my own toenails. I hated gaining 35 pounds and still needing to lose the last 20 from eight years ago. Most of all, I really hated the waiting.
I thought I had a clue, when in reality I had no way to fathom what the end of all that waiting would bring. The intensity of love... well, I'm unable to express in writing just how you can love someone so much that just to see them, meet them for the first time would feel like your insides are being pulled and twisted and turned around into something different and new. Oh, wait, that's just the doctor. (kidding) :-) So here's to my baby on her birthday:
I love you Chloe Violet! I have loved you from the moment that 2nd line popped up on the little white stick. I loved you in utero when I would try and watch a movie with Daddy and you kicked the crap out of my small intestines for 2 hours because the theater had the volumn up too loud. I loved seeing the outline of a little baby limb try really hard to push my navel up to my boob. I loved you when my morphine-induced glaze first saw your naked bloody little body laying on a pink and blue striped blankey. I love you at 2am feedings, and funky poop diapers and puke in my bed in the middle of the night after your first Pizza Hut. "oops my pizzee fell out" I love the way your blue eyes get all glazed and sparkly when we let you stay up late and you eat too much sugar. I love the way your face lights up when I open the door to daycare and you see Mommy there to take you home. I love your long, shiny, sable hair that feels like the finest spun Chinese silk when I rub it across my cheek. I love that you still let me hold you and rub your hair across my cheek. I love your dimples that echo my own, proof that you belong to me and you are a part of me and we are a part of each other. I love warm neck kisses at bedtime. I love that you think I'm always right (for at least one or two more years) I love you for thinking you're really beating me when we play Monopoly. I love your intelligence, your self-confidence, your smile, your curiosity, your comfort in knowing what you want and not being afraid to reach for it.
I would go through it all again, as trite as this may sound, and this time around I would even smile through 3am heartburn because I know at the end of 33 hours of labor, I would meet my very perfect baby girl. Chloe Violet Tibbett.
Happy Birthday Beautiful One.
May ALL of your wishes come true.
With Love on Your 8th Birthday,
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