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1:26 p.m. - 2005-09-21
Things I am Grateful for.
Things I am Grateful For:

(in leiu of my usual pms/bitch entries, I thought I'd scratch out something a little more upbeat)

1. After a really long day at the office, I came home late to find dinner hot and ready, a clean kid, a clean house, and the coffee pot ready for the 6am timer. After said hot dinner, I was served a banana split and ushered into a hot, scented bath to relax. After more than nine years of marriage, the fact that groovn-husband still cares so much about my day to do these things for me is infinitely precious. Then we had wild monkey sex til the rooster crowed. (come to think of it, he may just have been horny)

2. My daughter is beautiful, intelligent, out-going, emotionally secure, and has a decent college fund for a 7 year old. As soon as I come off a couple of bucks for a gold membership, I will show photos to attest to the beauty that is Chloe Violet. The intelligence will have to come from her own diary.

3. I have mad decorating skills. Sunday we painted the bedroom golden honey. Groovn-husband said he refused to help me paint the kitchen for the 4th time in 4 years until we painted our boudoir. So I went and grabbed my tennis shoes and purse and went to Lowe's for paint. That'll teach Groovn-husband not to be all mouthy and shit about my rampant need for home improvement. How long did it take you to fix that leaky faucet in Chloe's bathroom??? Huh?? Huh?? Come off my longing for fresh paint! Quit telling me that I'm making the kitchen smaller with every coat! Kitchens need annual painting to remain fresh and vibrant. They are the hub of family life, and need updating to reflect this. SO you bettah step!

4. I'm grateful that I have most of my teeth, and they are white and pretty straight. (the 'most' thing comes in because I had a back tooth pulled years ago due to a root canal that went bad. But you soooo can't see it and I don't look like a fucking hilbilly I promise!)

5. I have job security. I let shit pile so deep on my desk in order to spend more time at diaryland. Right now I'm so behind on my emails that I will NEVER get fired. I will die in front of this motherfucking computer and the funeral home will never be able to cover up the IBM logo that's been pressed on to my forehead. Because no one will find my cold dead body until the coffee is old and my boss starts to get emails saying his inbox is full.

6. I can type 92 wpm.

7. I am smart enough to know what wpm stands for.

8. I voted Kerry.

9. My daughter knows who Kerry is and how deep a well of hatred her momma harbors for all things Bush.

10. My husband is hot and has a good job.

11. I have a car that runs.

12. I am currently sporting 0 break out zones due to the miracle that is Mary Kay microderm abrasion.

13. My husband doesn't bitch when I spend $55 for Mary Kay Microderm abrasion kits.

14. I have a best friend named Billie Jo, and I love her deeply.

15. My best friend is a hot, nurse, lesbian and that in itself makes for good conversation.

16. When I run out of good things to be grateful for, I can usually make shit up.

17. But not this time. I'm sure I have more trite shit to name in gratitude, like my health, wealth, happiness, my ability to orgasm quickly when I just really, really would rather go straight to sleep... But I can't think of anything more today.

It's NOT happy Wednesday. It should be Thursday already! And I know this because I took Wednesday's birth control pill yesterday by mistake.



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