Get your ow
n diary at! contact me older entries newest entry

10:42 a.m. - 2005-06-20
Father's Day
Well, Father's Day weekend was pretty busy around the Groovn-household! Friday Chloe went to a Build-a-Bear party and sleep-over, so we went to a friend's house for dinner. It was a little awkward at first, considering she was the reason for my prior entry. But I decided a dinner gathering is NOT the place to introduce tears and recriminations, so I just drank until I got over it.

I drank a lot.

Also, I love my friend as much as I love my husband, so there's always room for a big ol' slice of forgiveness pie.

**on a side note, I am currently wearing a HUGE lavender ring and it is prohibiting my usual typing speed and accuracy. Forgive all the errors, yep I suck today***

Saturday, we got up and drove back into the 'city' to pick up our child. We did Groovn-husband's father's day celebratory afternoon then. Delicious garlicky, grilled chickeny, alfredo then an afternoon at the Rave (new, giant, cool, stadium-seating theater) watching Batman Begins. Wonderful flick by the way! With none of the over the top, campy visual aides of any of the other Batman movies. This one is a stand alone good movie. Except for that Katie Holmes chick. I don't like her! When did she become 'legal'?? Wasn't she the new "Brenda" in some teen show on the WB? No? Well, close enough.

Anywhoo.. movie good except for 7 year old Chloe Violet got a little scared when the Scarecrow started misting people with his hallucinogenic shit. CGI maggots freak cute little girls out. And they said 'goddamnit' once, but she hears that from her beautiful mother's mouth about once a month anyway. Sorry people! But like I said before, one great thing about being an atheist is that I can blaspheme with impunity! :-)

Then Saturday night, we rented Hitch and laid on the couch.

Sunday was fun! We had a cook-out for Groovn-father-in-law and Bill's sibling, spouse, and nephews came too! Grilled burgers, chocolate torte, ice cream cones, cold beer, a sprinkler that erupts like a volcano.. and Father's Day presents (a round for the house!) and we all had fun. It was so a-typical my side of the family, but so typical for Bill's side. My family didn't do happy little cookouts for Father's Day.

So my dad's in the hospital dying of that liver disease alcholics die of that *should* be spelled suh-ro-sis, but it's not and I can't spell it! I felt kinda bad for a while, but then I realized that just because his drunk, nasty ass just happended to come back to Arkansas once in the past 8 years since mom died, and now only because he's too ill to care for himself and our uncle died and left him a huge wad of cash, well, that's not a good enough reason to start up a relationship with him now. He hated my guts growing up. I'm not being melodramatic. He TOLD me he hated my guts. He also denied being my real father and when he was really mad at me, he would go to the store and buy candy for my little sister to eat in front of me. Just in case I didn't realize she was the favorite, the blessed one, all it took was one pack of Lik 'em Sticks that Erica didn't have to share to spell it out for my nine year old self. And those are my GOOD, HAPPY childhood memories of my father.
I don't have the time today to delve into the really bad, disfunctional shit that he did in later years. I don't really need to delve that deep either. I forgive myself for not wanting to see his nasty self ever again. I forgive myself for not caring if he dies. I do not forgive my sister for being such a dumb, fucking bitch. There's a story behind that comment, but for another day.

I hope you all had a great Father's Day!

I did!!



previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at!