1:50 p.m. - 2005-05-04
follow up to that last entry
Dude, I totally sounded like a snot in that last entry. I was NEVER that kind of person. It's just kinda fun to pretend you're all pretty in pink prom queen with a pink feather trimmed princess phone laying up on the bed being all Lizzie Macguire and shit. That was not my childhood, my teenaged years, or my adulthood. I'm the practical party girl. Doesn't that sound like a contradictory statement? I'm a Capricorn. Honest, down to earth, loyal, but secretly longing to be the tragic, artistic-type who broods a lot. In one small way, my daughter is a lot like the pink feather girl with everything she ever wanted. Maybe, much to my surprise, I AM living vicariously through my 7 year old. She's an only child (something I always wanted to be) Her closet is overflowing with clothes, she had her own 25 inch tv with satellite, dvd, vcr and the PAY MOVIE CHANNELS!!! Her toys are in such abundance we have to donate a few times a year (I promise our next house will have a sitting room off one bedroom for a play area!!!) She's spoiled rotten, but she's so beautiful. Chloe is intelligent, loving, and has her mother's blue eyes and dimples. Her father's striking sable brown hair, and a smile that lights up my home more than any 150 watt three way light bulb.
I'm in love with being a mother, and I live to make sure my daughter knows she's worth something. I want Chloe to have the faith in herself to reach for her goals and not hide behide a facade of drug induced "I just don't give a fuck" I want Chloe to know that her mother and father REALLY, REALLY believe that she can be the president if she wants to be, or a doctor, or a ballet dancer, or a writer... Her father is an artist, her mother a realist. She's got a great start.
Regardless.. my point is this: Sometimes it's really fun to crawl into bed with Chloe and giggle. Surrounded by pretty in pink feather trimmed phones, Beaded curtains, satin and beribboned message boards, and wearing the plastic tiara with the really cheap plastic jewels on them. Because while teaching my child she is as special as a princess, I can become one myself.
