2:20 p.m. - 2004-01-14
Okay, so I'm going to Memphis for my birthday and I'm trying really hard to think of a pair of shoes that are sexy/whorish enough for the clubs, but that I can still walk around Beale Street drunk and not break a leg. This is a huge freaking dilemna here!!! Then I ask myself, why do I want to wear whore shoes to go out in? I mean, I'm going out with my husband and my best friend. It's not like I'm trolling or anything. But, ya see,I LIKE to wear whore shoes. They make me feel sexy and when I feel sexy my husband gets laid more often. AND when he gets laid more often, I get flowers and affection (besides that whole, grab your ass in the hallway on the way to the laundry room affection) more often. When I get flowers and stuff I am much nicer and happier and a better mom and a better wife, so you see the entire atmosphere of our household is based loosely around me and my fucking whore shoes.