4:19 p.m. - 2007-03-07
New sofa, you say? Why thank you for asking! Yes, I did purchase a gorgeous dark brown leather sofa. It has a chaise on one end, tufted seats, and a fluffy, buttery soft leather back. I'm totally gonna get nekkid and roll all over it. Then I'll smell like a new purse. Or jacket. Or a couch. Or maybe a belt. But not shoes!
The spouse returned last Friday from Sin City and I immediately allowed him to feed me lobster stuffed mushrooms and lots and lots of beer. Who knew what luck I'd have when the kid got invited to a sleepover on Dad's first night home??!! After fine dining at our local large chain seafood restaurant (hey, don't knock it. it was lobsterfest, baby!) I convinced the spouse that I couldn't POSSIBLY go home and have sex immediately after such a large meal, so we needed to go to a nearby large retail outlet and walk around a little. Ya know, just window shop a bit. Only without all those annoying windows preventing you from actually BUYING THE MERCHANDISE! Two hours later, my still slightly drunk ass was rolling out of the furniture store with a delivery schedule and a HUGE fucking receipt in my purse. Yes, I'm assuming the spouse missed me. He knows how to show it, too. (I'm saving my new spring Stila eyeshadow for a later story--not really, but I'm unashamedly bragging and I don't want to sound all snotty and shit)
Magnanimously, in my most kind and giving manner, I took the spouse home and allowed him to have wild, monkey love with my lusciousness all night. (okay, okay. 'all night' might be a mild exaggeration. We have been married over 10 years. Cut a girl a break. I told you I ate all that lobster!)
In other news fronts, soccer season is up and running again. 8 more weeks of weekends filled with ignoring the snotty soccer moms and dads while gleefully screeching my head off at the baby girl going head to head with those dirty boys. Damn, that sounds kinda nasty. Yall know my daughter plays soccer, right? I don't think I'm old enough to have birthed anyone currently working in the porn industry.
Anywhoo... oh yeah: soccer, fun, sunburns, weekends without any dates with the spouse because we have a game, seeing the glow in the rugrat's eyes when she takes the ball away from someone. (she's a defender) Crappy ass collapsable chairs that leave stripes on my ass. Yeah, it's gonna be great.
Happy Hump Day.